Tonight I spent over $100 of my hard earned money to go see The Queens of Sheba tour – Heart / Joan Jett & The Blackhearts and a Canadian band called The Mandevilles.  I had seen Heart years ago and had never seen Joan live so it was bound be a good time.  We got great parking, the seats were great and then the couple in the seats to our right arrived.  The guy stumbled drunkly as he walked down the empty row to his seat…not a good sign when that happens and the guy has two more beer in his hands.  Him and his old lady were already stone cold drunk and the show hadn’t started yet.

So first off, who pays a hundred bucks for a show only to get so drunk that you don’t even know what is going on around you?  The guy and his wife thought that the openers The Mandevilles were Joan Jett, so far I’m less than impressed these folks are sitting next to us.  It was kinda funny at first but as they continued to drink the 4 beers they had when they sat down, it was apparent this was going to go downhill in a big way.

During the intermission before Joan Jett started, the couple disappeared.  The guy showed back up alone with two more beer and we figured the wife was praying to the porcelain goddess.  She finally did show back up basically falling onto the laps of everyone she needed to scooch by on the way back to her seat with another couple of brews.  Definitely not a good sign, the people in the seats in front of us were also intrigued by these two and the excitement hadn’t even started yet.

Joan Jett and The Blackhearts arrived on stage in grand fashion, it was super cool.  They had a video screen behind them showing random images of Joan and the band which was different than what I normally see at a show.  Once the music started, the inebriated wife jumps up and starts doing what appears to be the twist along with some extreme hand waving and drunken bobbing.  I was quite concerned that she would fall into the people below her.  The hubby then got up and joined her doing similar crazy moves and then he DID fall into the people below him.  His rescue required assistance from the sober people in the seats below us.  Unfortunately that was the only fall that we witnessed, by the time Heart hit the stage I was wishing one or both of them fell down the stairs and busted their neck.

During the intermission, the two of them disappear again only to arrive back with 4 more beer.  The guy couldn’t even keep his eyes open at this point I figure he must have been seeing more than double, their entrance back into the row was again a bit of scooching and lap stumbles.   Heart comes on stage and starts belting out all their big hits in the first portion of their set….amazing they were and it really great to see Ann Wilson is in such great shape!  The drunken wife lurches up out of her chair to start her twisted jerking hand flailing dancing and I’m positive that she’s gonna go ass over tea kettle.  Her hubby got up for a bit to follow her lead but couldn’t stand up so sat back down and proceeded to pass out.

So yah, the drunken dude is now passed out in the seat.  Awesome….at this point I’m hoping that he isn’t going to start puking his guts out.  The stupid bitch of a wife then starts hitting his face, swearing at him and grabbing his head and shaking it to get him to wake up.  I’m wearing earplugs and can still hear her yelling at him over the music.  Besides all this shit going on, the drunken girls in the row below the drunks are chatting it up and texting.  Holy shit people, if you aren’t interested in letting others enjoy the show they paid good money for, please fucking leave.

The show is going on and this chick keeps yelling at her hubby who is still passed out cold and physically abusing him.  My friend had enough and got up to speak to the security guy.  He didn’t do anything…so after a while I got up and talked to him as did the fellow in the row below.  The drunken chick has now decided to keep getting up and start dancing at the top of the stairs after falling on us and grabbing the people in front of us.  Seriously ridiculous, after every song she comes back over us to abuse the passed out hubby….she finally rouses him and they both fall past us to dance at the top of the main stairs.   I thought for fucking sure they would go tumbling down the stairs….unfortunately that didn’t seem to be their fate.

They kept going back and forth from there to the seats again, so ignorantly disruptive.  I finally had it and got up to speak to the usher guy again, and conveniently there were security guys there this time.  The one fellow took me outside to get the full story of what was going on.  He was telling me that if they weren’t hurting other people they couldn’t do anything and then when I explained the chick was verbally and physically abusing her man, he told me he had already warned her once about an hour before about doing that in the concourse.  So he now could take action, he rounded up a team of big security dudes and they came and removed them from the show.  The drunk chick said to my friend on the way out that we “didn’t know how to party”, well no, we do know how to party but we know when to party & that wasn’t the time or place for it.  I hope security called them a cab…

It was unfortunate that this only finally happened during the last 30 or so minutes of the show but at least we could enjoy the remainder without disruption.  There were some great Zeppelin covers – Misty Mountain Hop and Valhalla…those ladies in Heart do a fine job of the Zeppelin tunes.  The show was definitely worth the hundred bucks although a bit of a discount to put up with asshole drunkards would have been nice.

But really, why would someone make so much effort to be just so drunk that they most likely won’t remember any of it?  All I know is I’m relatively certain that they will both feel like death warmed over when they get up tomorrow.  Draft beer at a place that only serves it occasionally is just asking for a headache, rot gut and a diarrhea ass the next morning.  Those two deserve every bit of suffering they get, maybe it will teach a good lesson in self control and being a grown up.  Don’t get me wrong those two were in their 40’s but clearly thought they were still 18 with no respect for anyone including themselves.  Kinda fitting that The Mandevilles have a song called Hangovers…